Only the Best Hookers for Jesus

Babyboy Prez received a time out the other day.  His generals locked away his favorite toy – the lovely box with the red button that only he could push.  And why did Babyboy Prez get a time out?  Because he was furious with the Pope for not recognizing him as the new Messiah and proceeded to blow the Vatican off the face of the earth.

“I’m so tired of those so called Jesus freaks telling me I’m not a Christian.  What is being Christian folks?  It’s being weak.  It’s being a loser. I say if Jesus was here today he would use those nukes.  He would blast those Muslims off the planet. Wouldn’t he?  Wouldn’t he?  And he’d be the most awesome general.  I’d invite him to Trumphouse and let him sleep in the Lincoln Room with only the best hookers.  Only the best hookers for Jesus folks!

Now let me tell you, France had to go.  They didn’t castrate their Muslim men so France had to go.  Did we lose anything? Let me tell you something folks.  France was a loser nation.  Twice, France was a loser nation. And so I said to them: France you’re fired.  And you know what?  The French will thank me.

What do you mean France will be radioactive for decades?  I don’t believe that.  That’s what all those climate scientists say and do we believe them? Hell no!”

To be continued when I’m once again conscious…


10 thoughts on “Only the Best Hookers for Jesus

  1. Funny, but depressing. The shit storm called American politics is sinking our country. Being down here is one of my joys. Mexicans call Trump a clown with a gun that shoots flowers. They are worried that one day he may get a real one and then everyone will be fucked. I saw a talking head on the internet call Trump a “dick” and thought that was pretty good. Has anyone reblogged this post? They need to. Jan, are we doomed yet or is that just the beans burning?

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thanks Duke – I think it’s more than the beans burning. You can probably guess that I was on a full blown why-are-americans-so-willfully-ignorant alcohol fueled rant.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Frederick Christ Trump and Elizabeth Christ Trump (I kid you not) created baby Trump in the middle of a bad trip in 1946. The Republicans created big boy Trump when they tripped up badly by endorsing Nixon as their candidate at their 1968 convention in Miami. Now they seem appalled that the ensuing five decades of polarising rhetoric has resulted in a polarised society. Victor Frankenstein is to monster as the GOP is to Trump.

    Like your new-look blog Jan!

    Liked by 1 person

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