Babyboy Prez received a time out the other day. His generals locked away his favorite toy – the lovely box with the red button that only he could push. And why did Babyboy Prez get a time out? Because he was furious with the Pope for not recognizing him as the new Messiah and proceeded to blow the Vatican off the face of the earth.
“I’m so tired of those so called Jesus freaks telling me I’m not a Christian. What is being Christian folks? It’s being weak. It’s being a loser. I say if Jesus was here today he would use those nukes. He would blast those Muslims off the planet. Wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t he? And he’d be the most awesome general. I’d invite him to Trumphouse and let him sleep in the Lincoln Room with only the best hookers. Only the best hookers for Jesus folks!
Now let me tell you, France had to go. They didn’t castrate their Muslim men so France had to go. Did we lose anything? Let me tell you something folks. France was a loser nation. Twice, France was a loser nation. And so I said to them: France you’re fired. And you know what? The French will thank me.
What do you mean France will be radioactive for decades? I don’t believe that. That’s what all those climate scientists say and do we believe them? Hell no!”
To be continued when I’m once again conscious…