A blog can go up in smoke at any moment for any of a dozen reasons. Bloggers get exhausted or discouraged or just don’t want to play the game anymore. They post a “gone fishing” sign as if they will return one day but they don’t. They float away and become one less star in the already overcrowded Milky Way which is the internet.
With this in mind, here’s what I think will eventually happen to Tinhatsblog:
1.) Duke and Aaron will be “discovered” and join a pantheon of elite artistes with bevies of literary groupies hanging on their every word, and managers controlling every publishing and movie right pertaining to their work.
2.) Blogging ⏤ which is already considered obsolete by the cool folks (my children) ⏤ will die for good. Of course, those of us enslaved to WordPress or any of the multitude of web-hosting companies won’t know it until we’re down to our two last faithful followers: PetWasteBags and I Speak for Christ.
Don’t get me wrong. I have no desire to see Tinhatsblog fade to dark. Since we started this crazy experiment in April 2016, I’ve been having a blast writing things I wouldn’t want my mother to read. But I’m a paranoid schizophrenic with manic depressive tendencies and a morbid fear of heights. And so earlier this year I convinced the guys to let me publish a “blog to book” of what had been posted thus far. I wasn’t going to do anything special, maybe create an ebook, but an admirer of Duke’s work came forward and offered to help us publish a paperback. I’m quite sure he didn’t know what he was getting himself into but, like me, he didn’t let that stop him. Long live Schmaltzy and John of John’s Motorcycle Storage and Rare Book Disposal!
You might ask why buy the cow when you’re getting all this free milk. The blog posts in this book are raw. They haven’t been picked over by editors whose strict adherence to the Chicago Manual of Style zaps the energy out of the original telling of a tale. And, several of them are part of a work in progress, meaning the final product once or twice through the edit cycle may be quite different. Unfortunately the book doesn’t include Bijou’s exceptional prose; the decision to pull together the posts came before she joined us on a regular basis.
Oh, one last thing. A blog isn’t a blog without readers like you. Here are some of the comments we’ve included in the book. Please don’t sue us until it becomes a best seller.
Comments in Writing for the Absent Writer written by the folks who matter the most: YOU!
“You write tough mofo.”
⏤ Carol Crazy Horse Lady
“After reading [your post] I went around the house wanting to share it but no one cares about the stuff I read. Too bad for them.”
“This went to a place I did’t expect it to go and I was surprised to feel relieved as I read your words. To me, it is almost like you’re granting the reader a compassionate open armed discourse about the state of the world and the wraith of humanity and the lot of the survivor, all at once. Brilliant.”
⏤ The Poetess Bijou
“Barbie’s cruise ship capsized on Cheeto Island and the dolls reproduced there for centuries.”
⏤ M. Rowan, author and blogger
“Take the challenge Pete – despite what Duke says, the airing of your dick dimensions is not a requirement” [for posting on Tinhatsblog]
⏤ JT Twissel to a potential contributor
“Joy is overrated. Insight isn’t. For Duke, being pissed off is a way of dealing with life. I liked the piece.”
⏤ Anonymous Duke Critic
“He [my friend] is going to fix me up with a good looking crisis actor. She often plays substitute teachers in mass shootings. Her figure is like a slightly cracked hourglass leaking sand. Buy my fucking books. Money is soon going to be worthless and so you might as well have something that burns better than money.”
⏤ Duke Miller, advice for surviving the Apocalypse
“Got close to the edge again, hey Duke?”
“My wife loves dogs much more than humans. If I was drowning in a lake and a dog, maybe any dog, is drowning right alongside me, I have no doubt who she’d jump in to save. I don’t fault her for that. I just learned to swim.”
⏤ David Creech
“Dogs will save our lives.”
⏤ Feedback from Dog Appreciation Week on Tinhats blog
“This is beyond doubt the most touching piece I’ve read in a while.”
⏤ Willowdot, poetess and blogger
“Okay, I’m going to reblog this to my tennis shoes and take a long jog (jog the blog) up into the hills above my house. When I return I’m going to make a big bowl of guacamole with chips and fried bananas.”
⏤ Duke’s having a party and we’re all invited
“I can’t even count the consequences of my fornication.”
⏤ True confessions of Aaron Louis Asselstine
“Great piece bud . . . now . . . are you coming to our youthful reunion so your chic fans can jump all over your bad writing author ass?”
⏤ Mike Stevenson
We now return you to our regular programming.