I Threw His Fucking Palm Tree into the Sea

The content loop reaches all the way down the right side of my spine.  I can feel the nerve pull and stretch like white and black kids under the sun.  My ears perk up and I sense I’m about to get fed.  Floating sheets of nothing flutter down a dark hall and with that, I begin to compose.

To compose: be cool under duress, create words that grow the interior flesh, to live in walk-up squalor with a hard drinking woman, yet hold convictions that lead away from the rich and their destructive ways, letters at a desk with a blue feather, put a catchy tune or monumental symphony out there for the masses, dig a hole all the way to Hiroshima and end up in Portugal only a few blocks from Kari and her son and the rain, etc.  All of these things are to compose: something, anything that temporarily outlives death, the next breath.  Genetics compose us.  Give us the sex, the hair, the long nails, the two-tone ass cheeks.  There are companies who stick their fingers into our genetic makeup and sometimes the results are good and sometimes they are horrific.  Genetic inheritance follows us generation after generation and we do things without knowing why, but researchers and inventors and our great-great grandparents understand all too well.  Maybe god is genetics or at least the signature writ large across our fate.  It elevates or destroys us and we never know how’s it going until we arrive at some spot and say, Jesus, here I am…here I am.  That is all…and then I threw his fucking palm tree into the sea and a solar explosion destroyed Earth’s atmosphere, but all of that is okay, because I’m here writing this to you and nothing else matters.

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4 thoughts on “I Threw His Fucking Palm Tree into the Sea

  1. Genetics is only part of the true rhythm of the cosmos. For so many of us burdened with the truth in science, it leaves one hungry for more. While it explains and amazes, we are still left with the sadness of accepting a purposeless existence. Destiny, for the most part, ignores all of us. It happens without God or man at the wheel. I could be wrong.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes you are right. I don’t think anyone has improved on “50% genetics and 50% environment”. If Loren Eiseley couldn’t figure it out, nobody can. So we are left with desperation and the slow trend toward doom… no answers, no hope, and only the occasional peace of sleep or getting high. As you say science is small comfort, yet it is all we have since religion is the lie we repeat, with deadening variation, over and over again. Thanks pal… Duke

    Liked by 1 person

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