Day 7 of 90/ Things You Will Never Know

Day 7 of 90

Tonight I remember
the cut of abuse
like a handprint in wet cement.

The cut felt like a deep slice of nothing,
like a quick sharp blade.
I call the scar Fade but
it’s real name is Fate.

His lips know grimace,
know snicker,
know grin.

His teeth know naked as chain link,
like a dragon bearing fire within.

He’s a small man
with small eyes and small hands
and a small heart of cowardice
and a voice called Demand.

My heart protects him like a keepsake,
all of this pain and distortion is not mine,
the burn in his belly is not his,
the crime that he wrought is not yours
to deliver.

If he goes, I go,
drowning in the river
til the heat in our lungs is doused and
we go out together from
blunt force trauma to the brain
and tumble over the falls of morality
hand in bloodstained hand.

Tonight I will remember you
who plunged the knife into
my chest and left me
for dead.

Then hopped like a crow,
with opalescent oil slick feathers
and a brown downy underside-

I was bleeding out mesmerized,
you were

rattling and cooing,
black eyes bright like the void
of space and time,
alight with the thrill of Destroy.

Still you peck at my window
with your head cocked like a gun and
playing coy to ask me
time after time,
like a £4 knockoff of Poe’s vintage wine,
“still alive?”

Never more, babe.
At least not tonight.

Tonight I address this vessel of mine.

How much £4 Raven wine would it take
to bloat into oblivion,
past the deviant dragons and
wry minded birds to which
this cushion in my thighs has
grown so attached?

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7 thoughts on “Day 7 of 90/ Things You Will Never Know

  1. Wow. This one really rips the skin off. I found the personification of Fade, Fate, Demand and Destroy most interesting. They serve as exclamation point at the end of pain. Not really what I mean but I’m at loss for words. Bravo!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Poe drank the knockoff wine for sure.

    Another good one.

    It’s never appropriate to draw comparisons (these days), but Plath comes to mind. And I say this knowing how problematic it is for a man (of apparently loose morals) to say such a thing to a female poet in the 21st century. But it’s meant as a compliment, of course.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Hi K.,

    I am concerned by this one, but in a good way. When I relate it to the others in the 90 series, it makes sense and I suppose it is a continuation of what drives your emotions. The issue of emotional and physical abuse is at the core of most relationships. Not that the partner is necessarily bad, but it is the way a person travels the path, what kind of damage is done along the way. Some of us are totally lucky, others not so much. If I have missed your intent, it doesn’t matter. Like I say the truth of poetry is in the reading, not the writing. We bring to your words our own past and current understanding of how things work. Thanks. Duke

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I, too, am concerned by this one.
      It’s a regurgitation I can’t honestly take full credit for.

      Thank you for continuing to support me and give me your feedback, Duke. 🖤

      Like

  4. Oh my, Bijou, your first 2 stanzas are a complete poem unto themselves. And: “I call the scar Fade but its real name is Fate.” Everything right there. Wow. Thanks for letting me read. – Carol

    Liked by 1 person

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