Licking Door Knobs is Illegal on Other Planets

Licking Door Knobs is Illegal on Other Planets and what will the lifespan of my new ringtone be? How will it fare in the face of disappointment or worse, disaster? All of the production music used in the SpongeBob SquarePants show makes for great ringtones but I must be prepared for the inevitable—for when it becomes intimately associated with conversations that are anathema to the paradisiacality of the Polynesian motif.

Imagine receiving bad news immediately after hearing the aloha spirit gently lapping at the sun-warmed sand of your consciousness. Is it possible to hang loose in the face of ruin and despair? Will SpongeBob give me the Shaka hand signal from the window of his pineapple house as panic smashes the fragile peace of my unsuspecting mind?

We all have songs that became soundtracks to the infliction of great pain.

I’m hoping that SpongeBob and his Comic Walk song will serve me well in the face of life’s unavoidable tragedies.

May we all lick our door knobs illegally.

3 thoughts on “Licking Door Knobs is Illegal on Other Planets

  1. Reminds me of a friend who was given the option of listening to her favorite music while undergoing cancer surgery. So I can associate that music with having my body chopped up? She asked. Luckily I am too incompetent with iPhones to figure out ringtones.

    Liked by 1 person

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